The true Schmurtz Story

Not so long ago (three years in human calendar), in a galaxy not so far away (those of your kind would count in hours of plane : six precisely) I, Schmurtz, was born on the desk of a simple office. It was in the cold country where brave men still resist the attacks of english muffin and burgers, answering in the ancient French langage (a bit iold fashioned, but so singing in the voice...)

There I was, not knowing realy why or anything else for that matter.. But it seems taht my destiny was already under way when two men knowing my true potentiel offered me better tyhan a life: a carrier. To begin with, and a bit mistrustful about those creatures a hundred times bigger than I am, I stayed hidden in a cupboard. But I rapidly realised that I wouldn’t go anywhere like that. So I went off and signed the first movie contract in Schmurtz history.

My life changed after that: I was given the very best of everything: premium quality modelling clay, bones that would make the coldest Schmurtzette blush... My first movie depicted my coming into this world (a glorious 20 seconds motion picture). The experiment was quite good despite the traditional aspect of this bloc buster (Can you imagine not having a jaccuzzi nor a personal masseuse).

My second movie was actually shot at my expense. Let me tell you the story: I was on a schmurtz night out with some firends of mine, having some strawberry juice when we decided to finish off the night at Pierrot’s place. And here it happened: I was embushed by some local paparazzis that pictured my dancing skills (I was showing human females taht Schmurtz has nothing to envy to their human counterparts). Some editing later, I was again at the top of the charts! Well, I finally decided not to sue the paparazzis, since the movie made me more good than expected: Hey, would you complain about becoming a sex-symbol? Still, the human world is crazy, seeing it from a Schmurtz point of view.

My last picture was more elaborate; it was the first one that did actually had a real scenario. It is said to have been writen by two men under the influence of holy “chartreuse” and guided by the Biassu mountain muses. Yeah, I konw, it sounded wird at first, but then I read the script and I thought: this is brillant! This time, I had to do it all by myself: acting on a real stage, performing my own stunts, dancing (you know by now that this is not a problem for me..), etc. All this while keeping up my natural charisma to serve the scenario at my best. I cannot judge my own work (though, I like it!) and I will leave it to you: public that I looooooove!

“Vouali voualou”, as we say in Schmurtz, now you now almost everything about my life. What is next? Well, I don’t schmurtz know. Maybe will you be attracted by my life style and will we adopt together the schmurtz attitude. Maybe will I play in an up-coming big movie production with flying cars, speaking slugs, white wizards and agents Smith... Who knows? It all depends on the holy spirit, the schmurtz-power that unites and bindes us in one unity... Well, let me bid you farewell and let’s hope that my story will go on for a long time... Cela dépend juste du flux sacré, le schmurtz-power qui nous relie et nous anime, nous et la galaxie dans un tout cohérent… bref trêve de schmurtzeries j’espère en tout cas que mon histoire continuera et qu’on pourra rallonger cette rubrique historique autant que schmurtz se peut !